Whilst bikini shopping, you opt for the one that hides more bum, rather than your usual look – the swimsuit your Mum held up and said: “Is this to be worn, or flossed with?”
On Wednesday morning you Whatsapp your friend:
You: I’m sooooooo hungover.
Her: Haha oh really? Client drinks last night?
You: No, I’m still suffering from Saturday…
Your flatmates go on Friday night date night and you are excited to stay home, make vege massaman curry and read your new TIME mag in bed.
The 18-year-old shop assistant at Mi Piaci asks if she can give you any help. You tell her you need work shoes. Something that is as sexy as a heel, but not a heel because they hurt your feet all day. She jokes that she will be the same when she gets older. You decide the shop assistant is a bitch.
Your bedding gets really really good. “Excuse me, do these come in a one million thread count?”
Your friend asks if you want to do some sunbathing. You say yes! But then you arrive with a sun umbrella, a sun hat with a meter diameter, a kaftan and two layers of 30+ on your face.
The smell of coffee in the morning is an almost sexual experience.
Much love XX