I knew a guy once who told me about the elusive white buffalo. When he said the words elusive white buffalo his voice would quieten – as though she was a truth that mere mortals had no capacity to understand. This, of course, would cause me to laugh loudly with delight every time he did it.
He explained to me that she was the beautiful, smart, mysterious girl you meet – who is also notoriously unattainable. She shone like gold in amongst all the regular buffaloes.
I didn’t give it much thought until a few Saturdays ago. I rushed out of the house in a hurry to get a massage. I managed to have a shower, but my hair was in need of a wash and my face was bare.
After my massage, I stopped by Superette in Newmarket to buy a birthday present. As I entered the store and surveyed the shop assistants I had a thought…
This place is like being inside a male fantasy minus pillows being thrown and plus designer clothing.
If you haven’t seen a Superette Girl, I will describe her for you. She has her hair either perfectly straightened, or in waves cascading over her shoulder in shades of soft ombre. She doesn’t overdo it on the make-up – but she looks flawless. All lashes and brows and milky skin. She dresses so cute you gasp. And then you gasp again when you realise the cute little outfit is worth more than your car (especially since I had to duct tape my wing mirror back on). Her limbs are long and tanned and exfoliated and shaved.
And her nails….there are no chips to be seen in that paint. Superette Girl how do you have no chips?! Does your boyfriend always do the dishes? Is he just so grateful to be in the presence of such a creature of splendor?
The Superette Girl is my very own elusive white buffalo. That level of perfection is just so unattainable for me. Don’t let this blog fool you – those pictures are literally a snapshot of the make-uped, blow-dried version of me from the right angle. I’m not posting side-on, fat-arm photos. It’s what I call ‘creative control’.
So when I see the Superette babe, my mind races with questions for her…
Like, do you get up really really early? Because I’m lucky to get the time to pull a hairbrush through my hair in the morning whilst eating my breakfast and applying concealer to my tired eyes. And…how do you get your hair that perfect caramel hue? On that note, how do you master the polished nonchalant curl?
What does your room look like? Is it all white and mirrors. Do you have rare South American mountain goat rugs on your floor and French candles burning. Are there organic whole foods in your fridge? Do you always have it together – are you always so calm and relaxed? Or do you sometimes trip on an uneven piece of pavement, like me, and swear loudly? And every now and again do you shoot to New World for milk in track pants and a top knot? And does your hair ever get woolly and frizzy when you get caught in the rain?
Most importantly, do you ever look like crap? Maybe in the morning, after a night on the gin with the girls?
Please tell me there is a secret formula to your blissful beauty and peaceful demeanor. Because I put all the effort in I can possibly muster and yet I stand here whilst you wrap my gift smoothing down my hair, wiping dried mascara out of my eye, smelling like ylang ylang and wondering if it is possible to catch coolness.
I think us girls fall into this trap all the time. We see a crazy hot chick and wonder… is your life easier than mine? I bet your life is easier than mine. I’m sure you’ve never had your heart broken, or suffered a debilitating failure.
As I left the store, my rational mind kicked in and I had another thought.
Maybe the elusive white buffaloes of the world are just like us regular buffaloes on the inside. A little crazy sometimes, often confused by the process…and working away to figure it all out. Where they are smarter, is that they choose to do this with a good hairstylist, nail artist and designer wardrobe in tow.
They’re just regular buffaloes in disguise.
Much love XX