LOVE & MARRIAGE

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I’ve always felt conflicted around the idea of fate. Do we create our worlds, or are they mapped out for us. Are there truly no coincidences, or are we just stumbling around bumping in to life experiences and important people by chance.

On Friday, I watched two of my close friends get married – and I must say that their meeting seemed almost cosmic. Too many pieces of the puzzle fit in to place, giving an air of meant to be.

I read a piece on Elite Daily, posted on Facebook by a friend and I thought it was interesting. The author theorised that love has been romanticised into something that it isn’t. It has also been queried to death by the curious ones, such as myself. The analytical types of the world who try to make a science out of a feeling. Attempting to find some method in the madness.

But as I watched the bride’s grandparents dance close to each other, one week from their 65th wedding anniversary – as he helped her to her chair once they had worn themselves out with all of the fun, I thought about fate again. And how instead of an either/or scenario, fate and choice also dance close to one another.

Even if some form of the divine brings us in to contact with each other at the exact right moment – we still have a choice to make. Do we step forward into the unknown of a feeling that can’t be explained, or back away from it and protect ourselves.

For this reason, as I watched my friends take this huge step, I realised how truly brave they are. Because, whilst some would say it is a step toward security – and I have often been one of these cynics – it is actually a step into the scary waters of commitment. There is nothing safe about that. To make the decision to be truly vulnerable with another human, as long as you both shall live, is an extraordinary leap. To make peace with the fact that this other will see you at your best, but also your very worst.

Don’t get excited – I’m not donning white lace just yet. Evidenced further by the fact that I hid behind another guest during the bouquet toss and clapped loudly in relief when somebody else made the catch. However, I see now that marriage is in no way a step toward safety and security. It is just yet, another life choice. To wed, or to not, there is no wrong or right. Either path is a brave one.

Love requires sacrifice. We have to sacrifice control, let go, and trust in a feeling. But from what I saw on Friday – for the right person, it is so totally worth it.

Much love XX

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Hi, I’m Katie. I am a kiwi neuroscientist with a love for consuming and creating content. This site is where I share my personal thoughts and the thoughts of incredible minds from around the world. PhD in Neuroscience, University of Otago.

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