IMG_4283A pretty typical Katie-Manda selfie taken in line for zee club on Saturday. One of us always looks good (usually her), one of us always looks unhinged (usually me).

The other day, my bestie and I sat on the beach eating bagels and drinking coffee – talking about nothing and everything as we always do. She was eating a bagel with cream cheese and basil pesto, mine with cream cheese and tomato pesto. Her coffee tall, my coffee short. I turned to her and said…

“You are like the ying to my yang”. To which she replied…

“Yea, it’s always been this way.”

And so it has been through the whole 15+ years of our friendship. We have grown up on each other. Like puzzle pieces, we have filled the gaps in times of emptiness and confusion. Sometimes going weeks without speaking, sometimes seeing each other every day. Often losing two hours talking on the phone – sometimes about feng shui and pedicures, sometimes about our inner-most insecurities and our fears for this world.

Our bond is so strong that one can tell something is wrong before the other has spoken a word.

But the best part of our friendship has been this natural ability to love each other unconditionally. I urge everybody in this life to find that one person, you only need one, who can love you unconditionally. It will be natural and accidental. The person who is there when you show your ugliest thoughts and who says “that’s ok, you’re still ma-babe”. The person who can still love you when you are at your most unlovable – and who doesn’t bail or put you down, even when you make catastrophic mistakes. We all need this one person. They may be a lover, parent, grandparent, friend. It doesn’t matter what they look like on the outside, but you will know it when you feel it. They are your person.

Your saving grace.

Isn’t it funny – when we meet a soulmate, we await the firecracker – the butterflies that will flutter around our head with glitter wings. We think that real love will always come hand-in-hand with romance. When in reality, important people move in and out of our life every day. Sometimes there’s a crack-bang and sometimes it’s more subtle – they are there right under our nose. Watching out for us, picking us up, cheering us on with every stride.

Often, they are so permanent that you take them for granted – you don’t even see them.

Until you do.

And you realise that this thing you always hoped for – to meet your soulmate – to be loved for the gorgeously flawed little human that you are…

…you had it all along.


Much love XXX

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Hi, I’m Katie. I am a kiwi neuroscientist with a love for consuming and creating content. This site is where I share my personal thoughts and the thoughts of incredible minds from around the world. PhD in Neuroscience, University of Otago.

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