The other day, a friend and I were having a chat about Tinder and I was trying to grapple with my opinion on the matter. I sort of flipped from one side of the fence to the other as I attempted to find a stance on the idea.

I want to start by saying, I am not on Tinder and have never done any form of online dating. I’m still lucky enough to meet men the old-fashioned way. Whilst shitfaced in a bar.

Or, when I accidentally scratch their car at Pack’n Save with my runaway trolley. You know the trolley – no matter how hard you try to steer it, it seems to go exactly where it wants to.

Granted…I am currently single. So, this pick-up mode is not exactly working out for me.

But I just can’t bring myself to sign up.


Two reasons.

1) I am a romantic. I love the idea of old-school meet-cutes and a universal rendezvous.

2) I am a firm believer that you meet the love of your life when you find the life you love (I was trying to avoid cliches here, but no dice).

So here lies my issue with Tinder. It is a really convenient way to focus our energy on finding the love of our life and distract ourselves from the path that will eventually lead to this person anyway. A path to our own happiness that is, at times, better taken alone.

My other worry, is that we shut out a whole demographic of people who don’t ‘fit the criteria’. Some of the most interesting men I have ever met, who changed my view of the world for the better, fell outside of my usual dating norm.

But, in fairness to the huge amount people currently using this method for dating – it can take a long time to find the right path and the journey can leave you weary. In the meantime, you gotta have someone to share your popcorn at the movies and tell you you’re pretty in that new dress.

Disclaimer: I can’t reeealllly have an opinion on something that I am not willing to try. And, I’m usually a little behind the times on things. Only recently did I start to truly embrace Instagram. A blogger that doesn’t Insta – who would have thought. However, in my case, I don’t know whether searching for love is my journey. I would rather have it hit me over the head when I least expect it. How exciting.

So for now, I can’t sign up.

Instead, I will settle for meeting my love/time-waster the way many a great New Zealand relationship starts – over tequila slammers.

Much love XX

Photo: Katie Appleyard

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Hi, I’m Katie. I am a kiwi neuroscientist with a love for consuming and creating content. This site is where I share my personal thoughts and the thoughts of incredible minds from around the world. PhD in Neuroscience, University of Otago.

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