The night these pictures were taken, I was off to dinner at Mexicano’s and a show at The World Buskers Festival. This event is a big deal for our family, we absolutely love it. I think it is because we are all closet performers and like the idea of quitting our jobs and touring the world entertaining people for just enough money to survive. My current talent in our house is singing opera whilst making risotto and a selection of very questionable dance moves at Christmas. Kind of an adjusted hokey tokey thing.
Anyway, whilst at dinner, I leaned across the table to grasp my Margarita and I felt something go. Turns out it was the arse of my jeans. They had split right across the left butt cheek to the crotch.
I sat statue-still for a moment, clutching my drink and then slowly placed my hand on the tear, feeling how much bare skin was now exposed. Quite a lot.
Now this is not an irregular occurrence for me. The bum region tends to be a weak spot in my pants as they struggle to keep it contained. BFF Edie-Mae can vouch for this. She had to send me home from after-work drinks once as my trusty black pants had finally given up on life – in the bum region. There was also a pair of vintage Levi’s in high school that ripped in the bum whilst someone was piggy-backing me. There is a theme here and it points to my behind. Or some Freudian desire to live in a world without pants.
Back at Mexicano’s, there was no time to change. Luckily I was wearing my amazing (and long) Free People top, so off we went to see The Boy with Tape on His Face. However, this performance tends to be a very interactive one. He is constantly pulling people up from the audience onto the stage.
I sat in a state of pure anxiety every time he entered the crowd. Knowing that if I was to be picked, as soon as I walked up those stairs my bare bum and crotch would be visible to the entire room.
Luckily for me, I was not picked. And I burnt off my tacos through stress-sweating.
It’s a sad day when your favourite pair of jeans die. They were the perfect faded black and so soft. When they first got the rip in the knee, I was thrilled! On trend! But a rip in the bum is not a trend I want to endorse just now.
Oh well, a new pair of black denim it is. Does anyone know a designer who does industrial, saddle-strength stitching around the bum?
Much love xx