This is a topic I feel pretty strongly about. We have all been guilty of it in our lives. Just a sneaky bitchy catty chat behind the back of another. Why? Because it makes us feel better about ourselves of course. If we are busy casting the spotlight of judgement onto another girl, then we don’t have to take a good hard look at our own shortcomings.

But do you do you know why this is the fastest way to unhappiness? Because we are actually all innately good. Buried under the damage and the insecurities, we want the best for each other. So we may satisfy our ego temporarily by ripping another woman down, but we hurt ourselves. In the long run, we damage our own self- esteem and stunt our growth.

Those who feel the need to talk shit about others force themselves into a dark room of fear – because they believe that everyone else is doing the same to them.

And here is another kicker. Often the thing that we judge so strongly in others – is actually a fear we hold about ourselves that we have pushed deep below the surface.

She’s so emotionally unstable…

She’s a terrible mother…

Or, they are things we have convinced ourselves are not ok, because of our own self-imposed ideals.

God she loves herself…

She’s such a slut….

When you are cruel to another, you are actually going against your true grain as a human. You are putting yourself out of alignment with who you really are for a little ego-boosting instant gratification.

Do you know what happens once we make the conscious choice not to rip each other down?

We gain more respect for ourselves as women. I have never felt more proud of myself than when someone was being needlessly vicious about another girl and I have chosen not to participate. It is not always easy. We want to bond. We want to fit in. But do we really want to hurt our own essence and that of another human being to do so?

Something else wonderful happens when two women stop bitching. We talk about things that actually matter.

If every single set of BFFs spent the same amount of time talking about the world and business ideas, instead of how fat Sarah’s arse looked in those shorts – we would live in a utopia. We are creative and genius creatures – if we used our incredible problem-solving abilities and compassion, instead of gossiping, we could initiate a powerful change.

If we truly want to strive for equality. We have to start by treating our own sex as equals.

So, if you want to feel happier and better about yourself – don’t be a lil bitch.

Much love XX

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Hi, I’m Katie. I am a kiwi neuroscientist with a love for consuming and creating content. This site is where I share my personal thoughts and the thoughts of incredible minds from around the world. PhD in Neuroscience, University of Otago.

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