ON LOVE AND BUMPER CARS

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I read an interesting article the other day called Stop telling single women they’re fabulous! The general gist of this piece was that being single or being coupled up is a choice. Neither is more glamorous than the other. Both come with their own unique set of hardships and joys. As a couple you make a vow to compromise. Sometimes this means putting a little piece of your own happiness aside for the happiness of your favourite other. And as a single, it can mean driving to work, drinking your green juice and trying to remember what sex feels like.

This got me thinking of my own choice to be single and how I got to this point in my life.

I would liken my past love-life to bumper cars. There was nothing gentle about it. It was dark and dingy, there was terrible bogan music playing and my helmet smelt like armpit. Someone put me behind the wheel of a vehicle that I didn’t really know how to drive – and I just put my foot down and hoped for the best. Off I went, careering into cars, then slamming my stick into reverse and heading off in the other direction.

And I’ve hit a few cars.

I had a conversation with a wise man once and I said to him “I just think I’m no good at this…I’m doing it wrong” and he said to me “nope, you’re doing it right…you’ll see”. This was code for – don’t you go settling buttercup.

Here’s the thing. Each time I crashed, I learned to drive a little better. I learned that I won’t share my little red bumper car until the fit of my co-driver is perfect. He won’t be perfect, but the fit will be. He’ll be a little weird like me.

But if we are going to drive around in this crazy place together, it has to be just right.

So I made a vow to myself after the last collision. Maybe I’m just going to cruise for a while and have a good time. I’ll sing along to Def Leppard and wait for the driver who slams into my car. Then, if it feels right, I may flip the visor on my helmet, smile and ask if he needs a lift.

Much love xxxx

Photo: Katie Appleyard

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Hi, I’m Katie. I am a kiwi neuroscientist with a love for consuming and creating content. This site is where I share my personal thoughts and the thoughts of incredible minds from around the world. PhD in Neuroscience, University of Otago.

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